I know this sounds ridiculous. Believe me; I do. However, I cannot wrap my brain around this fact. After 3 years of disappointment, it is really hard to believe that it's actually happening. Especially when my only real pregnancy symptom is being tired. I don't want to sound ungrateful or crazy (although I am pretty crazy right now), but I feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm waiting for something bad to happen because surely we can't actually be pregnant and have everything going pretty well after being bombarded these last 8 months especially.
Take last night for example. I woke up in the middle of the night to flashes in the bedroom. My first thought was Denver is being bombed. We are being attacked. I could hear the bombs! Or we were having a thunderstorm. What up crazy town! Who thinks like that?? I think I need to get a devotional or something to read right before bed to calm my brain. Good things can/do/are happening. To me. Get with it.
I had my first appointment with the OB yesterday. They gave me a lot of information about being pregnant but also about giving birth and the hospital and stuff like that. It was great to finally meet with someone who talked about things that far in advance. Conceptions is all about getting women pregnant, so they definitely don't even broach the giving birth topic. It's a nice reminder that at the end of this there will be a child, and it will be ours. We also got to schedule the appointments with them through 20 weeks, so that was great to get it in the books. They were very affirmative with the confirmed pregnancy, whereas Conceptions always wants you to be cautious and don't get too excited until you pass the next step (understandably).
I realize that this post just sounds super crazy. I do, but I don't really know how to get past it. Hopefully I'll feel better after we have our second ultrasound at Conceptions on Monday. There's more hard proof that there's something growing in me. I know I'll feel better when my belly starts growing and I can feel the baby move.
One more good thing that the OB said: I'm probably not going to get morning sickness! She said that if I didn't feel anything by 8 weeks, I was probably set. Yay! That's great news. I'm still taking all of the meds and will have to do that until October 21st. I cannot wait to be done with those!!! Maybe it'll feel more real when that's over. Or maybe it'll be when I'm holding our baby. Hopefully I get over the neurosis before then!
And the most fun part: the baby is the size of a raspberry and I am 2/3 of the way done with the first trimester!! Yahoo!