In the next few days or so I should start my period, which they said could be extra heavy since my lining was so thick. I was really upset on Wednesday because I had no idea what was going on or if our embryo was dying inside me. My nurse reassured me that the embryo was no longer inside me. It tried really hard to implant but never could.
We meet with the doctor next Thursday to figure out what happened and where to go next. Hopefully they have an idea, but it could just be a fluke thing. My nurse said that she and our doctor went over everything together, and everything happened like it should have. Shamus and I want to start everything as soon as possible (hopefully start birth control when I start my period). It's been a really long three years, and we would like to know once and for all if it's going to happen or not. We have one more chance with IVF. We certainly can't afford to do the entire process again.
If we're cleared to start, then it will be another round of birth control, more belly shots, pills, and patches. Then finally we can do the embryo transfer again, bed rest, and the two-week wait. I think it would be a mid-August implantation.
So if you're looking for something to pray for, please pray that my beta hCG level is down to where they want it. The nurse said sometimes it takes months to get reabsorbed into the body.
For now, I'm back to "normal" life. I have no more restrictions on what to eat, drink, lift, etc. As for how things are going emotionally, I'm not even sure. Sometimes I'm ok. Sometimes I cry. I feel a little better now that there's somewhat of a plan and we know a little more about what's going on. But I'm still really sad about our loss. That was our child, and I was pregnant, even if it was just a tiny bit. I'm really, really hoping that the next pregnancy works and we get to meet our little belly bean.