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Hunter: Week 23

9/27/2016

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Hunter has finally learned how to nurse quickly, and it's really confusing the heck out of me! In the morning now, he will only eat for about 10-15 minutes, and then he's done. At first I just thought that he was being picky, but I really think that he's drinking fast and getting what he needs and then he's done. He's also starting to not need to eat every two hours anymore. That's kind of nice, but you never really know what you're going to get. Because just when you think you have more time, he'll want to eat every hour and 45 minutes. So it's not so much a watching the clock thing now as much as it's paying attention to his cues. If I try to nurse him when he's not really hungry, it's super frustrating. He will eat for maybe 2 minutes and then turn his head and look around. It's better if he's hungry because he gets distracted so easily!
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On Sunday, his teeth seemed to be bothering him pretty bad. He had his fingers in his mouth a lot and he actually slept quite a bit, which was super unusual. I'm trying to give him teething toys and cold/frozen washcloths for him to chew on, but he really isn't into them. He's good with his pacifier or his hands though. On Monday and Tuesday, he slept until 7:30, which was pretty awesome! It's nice for me to wake up and have a couple of minutes before he stirs. He's also started growling, which is pretty awesome. So funny!

Wednesday we flew to Ohio, and Hunter did so great! He didn't cry or fuss at all on the flight or in the airport. Thank goodness! I was planning on wearing him through the airport, but we put him in the stroller, and he loved it! He had such a great time looking around at everything and everyone. Going through security wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. We just put our bags in the bins and put his bottles in a separate bin. I ended up bring one cold bottle that I heated up using a thermos right before we got to the airport, and then I pumped in the car since it was a morning flight and had that bottle for the airplane. So I had two bottles that went through security, and one of them had a chemical on it that TSA didn't like. So they told me that if I wanted to keep the bottle and milk (um, yes), then I had to wait for bomb control to come over and test it. So we waited. I had to get a full pat down, which was oh so fun, and they did a chemical test on my phone and other things inside my bag. Finally everything was cleared and we were able to go. It took about 10-15 minutes extra, but Hunter did great. He was seriously so content.
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, We ended up feeding him about 4 ounces out of his bottle in the airport and then the other 2 ounces on takeoff. Then he fell asleep eating that during takeoff and slept for 30 minutes. It was a totally full flight, but the lady next to us was really nice. So Hunter woke up and I still had two hours to go. But we walked on the airplane and we stood at the back and watched the flight attendants opening and closing all the cabinets. They were really nice and Hunter was pretty excited. We had to go back to the seat, and then after awhile Shamus went up to go to the bathroom, so I laid Hunter down on his seat and he kicked around and played. It really wasn't too bad, and he did so good. I was relieved!

When we got out of the airport, he slept on the way to the trailer at the lake, and then he was up until 10pm. He stayed up until about 10 or 11 every night in Ohio, which wasn't great, but he slept until about 8am. I think he really had no clue what time zone he was in. Thursday we left the lake and drove back to Findlay, and he slept that whole time too, so he did pretty good on napping (for him away from daycare) those days. Friday he took a 1.5 hour nap, so that was great, too! Overall, it's going well in Ohio, and Hunter has gotten to meet his great grandparents, great aunts and uncles, and cousins. It's been fun! 
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Hunter: Week 22

9/20/2016

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Hunter hit the 5 month milestone this week. Holy geez. According to our measurements, he's 15.8 pounds and still 26 inches. It's so fun to watch him grow and learn. He's been using his voice a lot this week. He just babbles and coos away! He's also starting to reach for things, so that's pretty cool.
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Shamus said that Hunter gave him a hug (jealous!). Shamus picked him up, Hunter put his arms around his neck and squeezed. So stinkin cute. We both have experienced times where Hunter seems to know his name. We will say it, and he'll turn toward us. Of course, most of the time we say it and he totally ignores us, but he'll get it. I think if we really want him to learn his name, we have to stop calling him by all his nicknames.

His teeth are still bothering him. Kathleen said that he was pretty fussy at daycare earlier in the week, and he has been pretty distracted while eating. He can usually suck down a bottle in about 10 minutes, but he's been spitting it out of his mouth and taking about 45 minutes to eat. We think it's from his teeth bothering him. Although yesterday and today he has been eating better, so maybe the teeth went back down and aren't pushing up on his gums right now. He has liked to have things in his mouth, so I try and keep the pacifier handy. He has a bunch of teething toys, but he can only push things into his mouth if they're facing the right way. He hasn't learned how to turn things around. So the pacifier or a towel is good for him to chew on.

He's been sleeping pretty good. I've been feeding him and then putting him upstairs around 7-8 and then usually going up at 9:15 or so to change and feed him again. Last night we got started a little earlier, so he woke up at 8:40 instead. I went up and got him, and then Shamus wanted to hold him and then I had to change his diaper, put on his sleep sack, and get him situated on the boppy to feed him. By the time I flipped him around on the boppy, he had had enough and lost it. He started crying...he was so mad and upset. It was really cute and funny. I even put food in his mouth, and he still wanted to cry. Finally he realized that he was getting food, stopped crying and started sucking. It was cute. I'm such a mom.

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Speaking of being such a mom, I never really paid that much attention to kids in general. Now I drive by a school, see kids outside playing, and I get really sentimental about how cute they are. It's the strangest thing. I think because I can see Hunter doing that one day. I've turned into quite the sap.

Wednesday is the day we get on a plane with Hunter and go to Ohio. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone, but I'm also apprehensive about how he will do being out of his own space. I'm nervous about flying with him. Overall, he's a pretty calm and content baby, so hopefully he stays that way. I'm planning to wear him through the airport and on the plane and probably quite a bit while we're in Ohio. I'm hoping that he will take good naps and be a happy baby! Any positive thoughts and/or prayers would be much appreciated!
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Things I Want to Remember

9/19/2016

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I was thinking about delivering Hunter last night, and there are some things that happened that I want to remember. So in no particular order:
  • Shamus and I went out to lunch on Thursday and ate at Gunther Toody's, a diner. I wanted good fries and a milk shake. So I stuffed myself with a grilled cheese, french fries, and a chocolate milk shake. I was so full that I didn't eat dinner but had a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch around 9pm so that I wouldn't be starving in the morning when I woke up. Ha!
  • On our "date" we also stopped at Goodwill to drop some stuff off. We sure know how to have a good date. Shamus installed the car seat in my car that afternoon, too, thankfully.
  • Shamus had been really nervous about me going into labor on my own and not making it to the hospital. When I woke him up, he said "it's go time."
  • When my water broke, I jumped out of bed faster than is humanly possible from a deep sleep and getting out from around the pregnancy pillow. I absolutely did not want to soak the bed! Turns out, I did not get a drop on the bed. Yay me!
  • Shamus fed the dogs and then we had Jenny and the kids go over in the morning to let them out before my dad could come. She fed them again, so they were happy! Although when she went to leave, Chase ran into the kennel with Jack and didn't want to come out.
  • I was planning to finish cooking my meals and clean the house on Saturday. Obviously didn't happen, but my dad did go over and clean the house on Friday.
  • When we checked into the hospital, they put me into a triage room because they wanted to check me out. I told them I was dripping fluid onto their floor, and they moved me into a delivery room instead.
  • Turns out, I was starving.
  • The first nurse tried to put an IV into my left hand, and it blew. I was a bruised disaster.
  • In the middle of my excruciating contractions, a nursing student came in and asked if she could observe/help. I know she needed my permission, but I really just wanted her to go away because they hurt so bad.
  • I said the F word only once.
  • The first time I asked for the epidural, the nurse talked me out of it because I couldn't eat or drink or get out of bed after that. I should have told her to give it anyway. Instead I talked her into allowing me to eat a granola bar instead of clear broth or whatever nonsense she wanted me to eat. Turns out that I could only eat a few bites of the bar before I thought I was going to die and made Shamus go tell her I wanted it now.
  • The anesthesiologist had gone through IVF unsuccessfully. I felt really bad for her, and I still can't believe that she spends all day giving women epidurals. She's a better person than I am.
  • It seems that everyone knew that I had done IVF. Maybe I was high risk due to that?
  • My doctor didn't show up until probably noon or so. Thank God every single nurse that we saw was incredible.
  • There was another lady in labor who was progressing about the same as me, and we were "competing" to see who would deliver first. I never saw/talked to her. It was all through my nurse. I won, and she had a 10 pound baby. So I really won.
  • When I started pushing, they had me on oxygen between my contractions. Shamus fed me ice chips, and they were so good!
  • My doctor sat at the end of my bed to help me push and deliver Hunter instead of how it looks on tv when they're in a chair. It was really interesting to me...very casual.
  • The epidural truly took my pain away so I could catch my breath. After going through so much pain and heartache to get and stay pregnant, I had no desire to do it naturally. Loved that epidural. Shamus would see my contractions on the screen behind me and ask if I could feel it. Nope! 
  • He had a cheeseburger for lunch. I had no lunch. But he asked, and I said it was ok. He gets so hangry!
  • I think Hunter's heart rate was dropping during some of my later contractions. I remember my nurse wanting the nursing student to get my doctor in the hall. She never let me see her worry, although she did say very firmly to get her in here now.
  • My doctor was very calm and collected the whole time. Hunter was gray when he came out, and the nurses immediately took him to get him to breathe. She kept telling me it was ok and that the baby would be fine (as she was stitching me up). I really wasn't worried because I knew he was in good hands.
  • I teared up when I saw him, and it was pretty shocking to see how gray he was.
  • The nurses and doctor wanted Shamus to cut the cord, but he never wanted to. Turns out that he never had a chance because she cut it really quick--since it was around his neck.
  • She kept saying that she was going to immediately hand the baby to me after it came out. Skyridge is very big on skin to skin contact immediately after birth. Instead she immediately handed him to the NICU nurses.
  • The nurses and doctor kept telling Shamus to go over and see if the baby was a boy or girl. He couldn't do it. He was really shook up at how Hunter looked when he first came out.
  • He was gray because the cord was wrapped around his neck. Right after he crowned, my contractions stalled and we were waiting around for another one so I could push him out. It was a few minutes.
  • During that time, my doctor tried to get me to feel his head of hair (no thanks), wanted me to look at him in the ceiling light (no thanks), and gave his hair a little mohawk (ok whatever makes you happy). It was a strange time.
  • Every contraction had three pushes. The last one she asked if I could do one more push to get him out. I happily obliged.
  • Start to finish, I was in labor for a tiny bit over 12 hours. I pushed for 1.5 hours. Not too shabby. I remember after my first set of pushes, I asked if we were almost there--if they could see the head. They just laughed at me and said most women push for three hours their first time. Wha??!! Seriously...no one told me this fact.
  • It was amazing to finally hold Hunter, although it took us about an hour to settle on Hunter for his name.
  • I got to order food finally after everything was done. Since I'd been wanting a cold meat sandwich the whole pregnancy, that's what I ordered. It was served hot.
  • The hospital food was actually pretty good. Every meal you got an entree plus three sides, an appetizer or salad, dessert and a drink. It was a ridiculous amount of food. Shamus and I would split the breakfasts. He would get the entree plus a side of meat and I would get oatmeal and fruit. It was plenty. I also ordered a lot of chocolate ice cream. I miss that part of it.
  • Shamus went home in the evening after Hunter was born and I was in the recovery room to pack up clothes and other items that we definitely did not have ready to go. I told him to grab my library book. Hahaha. Like I ever had time for that. I also never really found time to be on my phone. I was getting so many text messages from family and friends, but I just could not find the energy to reply back. I never realized how exhausted I would be. I also never really wanted the TV to be on. I think I had just had enough stimulation with the birth.
  • We had no hot water in our room. Well, we did but it took about 20 minutes before it was hot.
  • I had zero interest in taking a shower on Friday or Saturday because everything was so sore but boy did I want one so bad on Sunday. I definitely did that as soon as I could on Sunday. 
  • Friday night I was delirious with exhaustion. Skyridge wants you to keep the babies with you, so we did the first night. He didn't really sleep much, and I didn't really sleep much. He was crying in the middle of the night, and I seriously could not remember his name. True life there. I really had been awake for about 24 hours at that point and had undergone a significant strenuous activity and was completely exhausted. So I feel kind of bad for not remembering but also not really.
  • I was so hot after giving birth that I wanted the room really cold. Shamus was freezing the whole time, but I was so hot. Hunter had a problem keeping his temperature up and had to go to the nursery (or maybe the NICU) twice to warm up. Finally a nurse kindly suggested we turn the thermostat up so that Hunter could keep his temperature up.
  • Seriously--every nurse that we had was phenomenal. Our night nurse the second night was really fantastic. I asked if it was going to make us horrible parents if we sent Hunter to the nursery the second night so we could sleep. She said of course not. So we sent him off around 10pm and told them that he could have donor milk for his middle night feeding. I certainly didn't sleep through the night, but it was pretty phenomenal to get some rest.
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Hunter: Week 21

9/16/2016

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We are going to have teeth very soon with this one. His bottom gums are white, and those teeth are going to break through any day or week. I'm not really sure how long it takes...Hunter always has his fingers in his mouth, and he's gumming them so I think it will happen pretty soon. He doesn't seem too upset by them, so let's hope that continues. I still can't believe my baby is old enough to get teeth!

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He's also rolling around quite a bit, but he hasn't learned yet how to roll fully onto his belly. He can't quite figure out how to roll over his arm. I'm ok with him not learning that too soon as I'm not quite ready for the crying that will ensue when he can't roll back onto his belly. Selfish, I know.

This kiddo still won't nap for me at home. On Monday, we went on a drive up Mt. Evans, and he slept for almost two hours. I'm not quite sure how good he slept since his head was kind of flopping from side to side on the windy road, but at least he was sleeping. Monday night when I put him to bed, he woke up so I ended up taking him into his room and rocking with him until he fell asleep. As I was sitting there, I just could not get over how grateful I am for him and for everyone around us. We had so many people praying for him before he was even created, and we've been so blessed before we were pregnant, during the pregnancy and after the birth. We are surrounded by so many loving people! It's amazing to think about!

Oh...one way we can tell that this child is ours is that he loves to watch tv! If we set him on his activity mat, he will move himself around so that he can watch tv. It's pretty funny, but we have to be careful about what's on!
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This week we have been better with getting him to bed earlier. For the most part, we have been able to get him to sleep after I feed him around 6:30 or 7. He falls asleep on me, then I let him lay there for 30 or 45 minutes and then I move him upstairs. I go back up around 9 to get him and feed him again before bed. It's working pretty well, and it makes me feel better that he gets to bed earlier. He's been sleeping through the night some nights and other nights he's up once. You never really know what you're going to get!

On Saturday night, we went to the Roxborough music festival. Shamus got the obligatory picture in the firetruck (and he just so happened to be wearing a firetruck shirt). At the end of the night I was holding him so he would sleep. He was so tired, but it was so loud!
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Hunter: Week 20

9/8/2016

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I was thinking back this week about how rough things were at the beginning when Hunter was born and how easy they are now...well, comparatively. I remember not being able to sleep upstairs in bed, waking up every other hour, how in the late afternoons I would start feeling panicky about making it through the night and not sleeping. Boy was that rough. I also remember hating breastfeeding. So much. I just wanted to make it one more day. I'm so thankful that things are easier now. By no means are they easy, but it's so much easier with Hunter. Now I know that for the most part I can sleep through the night or just get up once.

Breastfeeding isn't as miserable and now I'm hoping I can go longer than 6 months, even though the dairy restrictions aren't fun. It's also nice now that I don't feel like I have to hold him all the time. He's pretty happy playing on his activity mat or in his bouncer by himself and we can get things done. Things are easier. Turns out people weren't lying when they said it gets better. Thank God!
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Football started this week!
This has been the week of trying to get Hunter to nap by going on drives. On Saturday, Jacquie and I drove up to Evergreen and back down so that Hunter would sleep. He slept for over two hours, so that was a success. On Sunday, we had a family get together, so I wore him in the wrap, and he slept for over two hours again. On Monday, Shamus and I went for a drive, and he only slept for about 20 minutes because we ended up on a dirt road and the bouncing woke him up. Plus, I think he's much too interested in Shamus' truck to sleep because he can see out the back window and see the trees and other fun stuff in the sky. Tuesday I drove down to Larkspur and back and he slept for over an hour. At least it works, and it's kind of peaceful just driving around with no timeline.

On Monday, I also started to try to put him to bed earlier. I feel like going to bed at 9:30 or 10 is too late. So I tried to put him down after his 7pm feeding, but he wasn't having it. Wide awake when I put him in his rock n play. On Wednesday, he fell asleep after he ate at 6:30, and I had him sleep on me and the boppy pillow for an hour. Then at 8:30 I put him upstairs so I could get into my pjs, but when I went to get him and take him back downstairs, he was sound asleep. So I left him up there and came downstairs and got some stuff cleaned up. I went back up at 9:15 so I could feed him. I think that worked great, so we will see if we can get it to continue.
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I feel like Hunter is ready for a few things, but we are going to wait until we get back from vacation at the beginning of October until we transition him. I don't want there to be too many changes. For one, I feel like he can start sleeping in his crib. I'll miss him being next to me, but I think it's time. Also, I feel like we could start him on rice cereal now, but I would rather not deal with that on vacation. So he's going to wait. I'm anticipating that there will be enough changes in his "routine," and I'd rather make it as easy as possible on all of us.
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He's still sleeping really well at night. He either sleeps through the night or he's up once to eat really quick. I don't even bring up the boppy pillow and all of that stuff with me anymore. When he wakes up, I just take him into his room, sit with him in the rocking chair, and feed him. It's usually 20 minutes max and then he's back to sleep. Boy things are much easier!
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Hunter: Week 19

9/1/2016

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Last week in the teens!! Holy moly.

This kid. I swear that every week he starts to do something new. It's crazy how fast he's developing. This week he really has discovered his tongue, is starting to roll on his side more, and has been sleeping through the night(!!!). He has been sticking his tongue out like crazy all week. It's pretty cute! He also has started being able to push the pacifier back into his mouth if it's possible to do so, and he likes to grab onto it now. Of course, sometimes that means that he pops it out with his hands, but he'll figure that out soon.

Also this week, when we put him down on the floor or his activity mat, he will roll onto his side and stay there. I think he wants to roll all the way over but isn't really sure how to do that. I'm not really looking forward to when he does that because he'll get stuck and start crying for us to roll him onto his back. I hear it's never ending. But it's pretty cute for him to be on his side for now.

Starting on Saturday night, he has slept through the night every night. It's been pretty amazing. Especially because from Tuesday night on, he's been at daycare and napping and then still sleeping through the night. That's a first. So here's hoping we get many more of those nights. Although, when he wakes up once to eat, it's usually not too bad because he'll only eat for about 20 minutes and then go back to sleep. But I'll certainly take sleeping through the night over waking up!
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On Saturday afternoon I started feeling really crappy with a sore throat and all the fun that comes with that. On Sunday it wasn't better, but I went and checked out a book on napping called The 90-Minute Baby Sleep Plan. It's main premise is that babies have a 90-minute cycle, and every 90 minutes after they awaken, they get tired and are ready for sleep. If you miss the window to put them down, then their bodies will wake back up, and you won't be able to get them to sleep easily for another 90 minutes. So Monday my whole goal was to get Hunter to nap using this theory.

Hahaha. I believe in the book as I saw Hunter get tired and yawn every 90 minutes. However, regardless of what I tried, I could not get him to actually fall asleep on his own. He took two naps. One was for 45 minutes while I was wearing him, and the other was for 15 minutes on the boppy after I nursed him. I felt absolutely horrible on Monday, and all I wanted was for him to take a nap somewhere other than on me so that I could lay down, too. I think he smelled my sickness like he was a lion and I was a wounded antelope. There was absolutely no napping where I could do the same. By the time Shamus got home from work, we were both pretty cranky.
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So I think my new goal is to try and get him to sleep at the same time every day (which, according to Kathleen is usually 10:30/11am and 1:30 or 2:30pm). I'm going to try to get him used to napping at those times, while keeping in mind that it will be easier to get him to fall asleep at the end of that 90-minute cycle. I'm going to try to get him to sleep in any way possible until he gets that those are the times he's asleep, which means wearing him, stroller, car ride, etc. Then after he's used to those times, hopefully I can start getting him to sleep in his crib. He loves to fall asleep nursing, so I need to break him of that, too. But there's really only so much I can do, and right now I just want him to sleep. I've tried to be cavalier about it, but sleep is so important for his development. Plus, I need a break when it's just me and him to get other stuff done. The struggle is real. Not to mention that when he doesn't get naps, he's a cranky little monster.
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Thankfully he went to daycare on Tuesday and I went to the doctor, and she thinks I have strep. So I've been on amoxicillin, and I'm starting to feel better. I was a little worried about my milk supply, even though nothing I've read says that it impacts it. However, I bought some mother's milk tea that increases your milk supply. Boy does it work! The first day, I got an extra 4 ounces and the second day I got an extra 3 ounces. It's disgusting though. It tastes like black licorice. What's funny is that my biggest complaint about tea is that it doesn't taste like anything but dirty water. Of course, this has a very potent taste. I brew it in apple juice and then add more apple juice to try and disguise the taste. It's definitely more edible than the brewer's yeast though.
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I thought I'd add this real life picture. I'm still bruised after not doing the shots for 19 weeks. I'm not sure the bruises will ever go away. And I definitely still have a pooch, but I'm just not willing to restrict my diet further with not being able to eat dairy when I want. So my plan is that once Hunter's reflux is better and I can eat dairy every day or I'm done breastfeeding, then I will do an Advocare 24 day challenge. It totally works, and I know that it will slim me down. For now, though, this is my stomach, and it's totally worth it.

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    Me and Him

    We have been trying to conceive (TTC) since July 2012, and it's been a long road. After 4 unsuccessful IUIs (artificial inseminations) and countless heartache, we have decided to move forward with in vitro fertilization (IVF). Even though it's insanely expensive, it has the highest chance for success (75%) and it's our best hope. One of the most frustrating things about our infertility is that there is absolutely nothing wrong with either of us (that they can test). Oftentimes IVF also is diagnostic, so along with hoping for a happy, healthy baby, we are hoping for some answers. This is our journey, and we appreciate any prayers along they way. 

    I'm writing this so I can look back and reflect and also because I want a place to let it all loose. I don't expect many to read it but at least I can get thoughts, feelings, and experiences out of my mind and onto "paper." Hopefully there's a positive outcome and I can look back and say remember when we had to deal with all that crap...

    We also want to give hope to others who are dealing with infertility. We know what you're going through, and it sucks. Try to keep hope in your heart. Let me know if I can help in any way.

    Update: We had our miracle baby! Hunter, born April 22, 2016, is the light of our lives!

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